Lili’s Ladies of the Year 2013

Tags

awards, burlesque, cabaret, costumier, Hebden, Heidi Bang Tidy, Jack Monroe, Jacqui Tomkins, jema hewitt, London Birth Practice, Mal Soomessur, Sophie Orr

As a gender, women spend a lot of time tearing down their fellow sisters, although this trait is mostly propagated by the haridans at the Daily Mail, (wizened old prunes that they are, oops, there I go again). So as an antidote to the Moirs and the Bricks of our fair planet, I thought I’d put forward my list of women (six in total, although it will be five usually!) who I think deserve plaudits this year. Rather than celebrate celebrities, I thought I would acknowledge the women of my acquaintance who I think have really been rather marvellous this year and so without further ado and in no particular order, I give you the inaugural Lili’s Ladies 2013.

Sophie Orr.

In a year which has seen family bereavement, advertising executive, (Evening Standard dontcha know!) Sophie threw her time and resources into organising quite simply the best charity ball that the City of London has seen for an age. A long time supporter of our Armed Forces, Sophie created The Poppy Rocks Ball and raised a fortune for the British Legion. The ball is returning to The City in 2014 and I strongly suggest that you fight for a ticket and support The Poppy Rocks Ball, (there are men in Mess dress, they had spurs. Spurs!!! Honestly, you could have scooped me from the floor!!). Sophie is also the Godmother to Rafferty-Baz and my husband and I couldn’t have chosen better.

Heidi Bang Tidy

This year, burlesque has come under fire from various angles and one of the most high profile was Hebden Bridge Burlesque Festival being denied permission to use the town hall in Hebden for their gala show. The council deemed  that burlesque is ‘demeaning to women’. I’m not sure that the 90% female audience felt the same. Heidi gave them both barrels with protests and petitions and raised huge awareness with reach well beyond the boundary of cabaret and burlesque. The town council looked like fools and Hebden Bridge Burlesque Festival now have their Gala at the Todmorden Hippodrome and have attracted a star-studded line-up including Banbury Cross and Frisky (of Frisky & Mannish fame). Hurrah for Heidi.

Jacqui Tomkins & Mal Soomessur
I had my first baby, at home, in January and I couldn’t imagine doing it without the help of these amazing wise women from the London Birth Practice. I have written extensively about Independent Midwives and the troubles they face with future Government legislation, Mal and Jacqui have been at the forefront of the fight for insurance and they are still fighting for their right to provide gold standard care to women. I will support them all the way.

Jack Monroe

Where do I start with Jack Monroe? It hardly seems worth it for her to be one of my women of the year as she has already achieved an armful of far more prestigious awards and accolades this year. I started the year reading her amazing blog (at it’s best when she gets cross – she’s like a literary hulk and she can tear the Daily Fail to shreds in 300 words) and if you haven’t read it, where have you been? Do it. Now. As the year slips away, she has written a book, appeared on various news/politics shows, presented a petition to Parliament and demanded that they debate food banks, ranked at number 19 on the Independent’s Pink List, been nominated for a Groucho Award, been invited on to a comedy panel show, been subject to at least three hate articles from the Daily mail (idiots!) and so much more. Also, like me, she comes from Essex, which is a cause for celebration in itself when 95% of the rest of the county are orange and hardly clothed. Go Miss Jack, it has been awesome watching your ascendency.

Jema Hewitt

Costumier extraordinaire. Jema has made costumes for me for the last few years, and it is always exciting to see what she creates for me. She created my lime green Chinese silk hosting dress, which is one of my favourite gowns ever. She also finds time to write books on Steampunk frippery and make tricorns and we all know how much I adore a tricorn. Such a talented lady. If you haven’t checked out her Etsy shop, you absolutely should. I’m already looking forward to seeing what Jema and I create together in 2014.

And with that, my ladies for 2013 are done. I’m looking forward to seeing more awesome stuff created, written and produced by even more ladies in 2014.

Yours, in celebration,

Lili

[photos by Deborah Selwood, Louisa Reid Russell, Neil Kendall]

Lili’s Lovely List of Cabaret Injuries!

Tags

burlesque, cabarati, cabaret, champagne, glitter, injuries, sparkle

We find ourselves approaching Christmas with fearsome alacrity and I thought that it being the season of goodwill and good cheer, I would share a slightly lighthearted offering with you this afternoon. As the days grow cold and dark, so my various joints start to ache and it is not eased by the damp and my insistence upon dragging a suitcase behind me. For those non-cabarati among you, I thought I’d share some of the more common show-person injuries.

The first, which I have experienced many times, is ‘Fishnet Knee’. If you are prone to dropping to your knees on stage (or off!) when wearing professional dance fishnets, you too will have experienced this. The pro fishnet acts like a cheesewire and leaves a lasting impression on the fragile skin of the knees. When the bruise comes out, it is in the delicate diamond shapes of fishnet. Maybe for artistry, I shall rename this ‘Harlequin Knee’. Without fishnet, I believe that the term is ‘Stripper Knee’.

Second up we have the manifold burns from hotfix wands, curling tongs and even corset laces. Burns to fingertips, thighs, waist and I even met one showgirl who had grabbed her curling tong by the (still hot) barrel. It left a rather fetching swathe across her palm in livid salmon pink! Luckily for her, this accessorised beautifully avec her costume! Hot-fixing crystals to our costumes causes burns to fingertips and I’ve even dropped hot crystals on my skin where they attach themselves with molten glue. Utter ouch. I’ve given up playing with my wand and now I attach all my crystals with a fabulous glue called E-6000. If you haven’t ever tried solvent abuse, I suggest an afternoon in the company of E-6000 and you’ll be put off for life. Dreadful stuff.

Who hasn’t been touched by prop injuries? Who hasn’t fallen off the stage? Who hasn’t slipped on a spilt drink and hit the deck face first? I’ve sprained my ankles from negotiating dark cabaret audiences in super high heels, I’ve had cuts on my feet from glass walking and only a few weeks ago, gave myself a black eye with a gold topped, vintage ebony cane. No, seriously, a gold topped cane. I’ve seen fire performers with burns, bruises and even, the most hardcore of all, a snake bite. Missy Fatale, you win the award for most rock and roll backstage injury. Most fatal of all, is of course the dreaded and inevitable glitter lung, any one with any cabaret experience will know how glitter spreads like cabaret syphilis and once upon you, or inside you for that matter, you will never be rid of it. What’s more, you’ll spread it, unknowingly to your nearest and dearest. When I die, they shall slice me open and be blinded by the sparkle from my alveoli.

Suitcase shoulder is an injury of which most cabaret performers must be gloriously aware. You haul your glitter-soaked, unwashed props and costumes behind you in a huge suitcase, onto buses, onto trains, up and down, round and about, through the tube and all over cobbled streets. After a weekend of this, your pulling shoulder will be aching and sore. The pain will travel up your neck and down your back. You may get referred pain in your wrist. Perhaps we could all just perform stark, bollock naked? When you add to this, the ache in your feet from wearing heels and the ache in your ribs from lacing a corset and you honestly feel like an extra from Dawn of the Dead. Or maybe I’m just getting old!

There have been times, occasionally, when lovely audiences send champagne backstage, or perhaps a delicious venue provides one or two or five bottles of Tattinger, Bollinger or Moet, Oh My! These should be approached with absolute caution. I don’t know about you, but I am the most wretched hungover person ever. It will absolutely bitch up an entire day for me. Quel dommage, that champagne is so readily available backstage, front of house and in everyday life. Sadly, I’m not terribly Christ-like and I’m utterly lousy with temptation. I know that there are several other performers who are equally, if not more, dedicated to the champagne cause. This causes many headaches, both literal and metaphorical. Who hasn’t ended up stumbling around London, missing various parts of their costume, or more worryingly, their wallet or keys?!

I hope I have alerted you to the desperate horrors that we performers go through in order to bring our sparkle drenched glamour to the stage for your entertainment. So at this festive time of year, spare a thought for the poor Cabarati, those delicate souls buoyed by champagne and applause.

You can (and should) catch many of the Cabarati in ‘Cornucopia’ at the Palace Theatre, Shaftsbury Avenue, London on Monday 16th November. I’ll be there so get your tickets here.

Love Lili

x

Lili goes to Coalville and Rosehill

Tags

cabaret, Coalville, Corsetry, Cumbria, Rosehill Theatre, Snibston Colliery, songs to make you smile, steampunk, Tom Carradine

Last weekend I had two fabulous gigs, the first was in the Snibston Colliery in Coalville. It was a steampunk event called ‘The New Age of Discovery’ and they asked me to sing some opera tunes from a gantry above the old railway tracks. The audience were beautifully attired in steampunk regalia and I do love dressing up, so it was a thrill to wear a corset and a huge Victoriana skirt and my ship-topped tricorn.

In the 20/20 vision of hindsight, it was maybe not the best outfit choice for climbing gantries on a soggy December evening with a gale blowing through!

It was amazingly evocative, especially when a real steam engine came powering through a screen towards the audience. There was also a most interesting corset exhibition of corsets from the 1890’s.

On the Saturday, I went on a stunning roadtrip (the A66 – amazing!) across the top of England, all the way to Cumbria to do a show in Whitehaven. The Rosehill Theatre is situated on the top of a hill in the middle of nowhere, overlooking the sea with far reaching views across to Scotland! Breathtakingly stunning. Once you step inside, it is like a miniature West End Theatre – complete with faux boxes.

The entire theatre is lined in red silk and they had a concert grand piano on the stage! It made my day. So many venues today make do with keyboards or electric pianos so it is such a treat to perform in a place with a real instrument as I feel you never get the depth and delicacy of touch from a souless electric piano. Everyone at the theatre was incredibly welcoming and my mother Dru, Tom Carradine, (who was playing piano for me) and I had an absolute giggle. The show (Songs to Make You Smile), went fabulously with such a warm audience. It was a real joy and I do hope I get the chance to go back to this beautiful, historic little theatre.
It is so rare to find these amazing little venues and I love to perform in such wonderfully intimate spaces, they should be treasured for their history and kept for future generations.

Until next time…

Love Lili.x