In Praise of the Pube

Tags

bush, feminist, lady garden, mother, muff, pubic hair

This is a blog I have been planning to write for ages, but it’s quite a personal topic, and the idea of a hirsute female does rather get people worked up. However, I think it is important and relevant, so I am damn well writing it and you can read it, or not and approve of it, or not. I’m not terribly bothered about what people think of me.

When I was pregnant, I made the decision to grow my muff out. After years of doing burlesque and striving for modern beauty ideals, I decided that enough was enough. I reasoned that if I couldn’t see it, then I shouldn’t have to wax, shave or strim it. By the time the baby arrived, I realised that I had become quite attached, no pun intended, to my glorious pubic triangle and I decided to just let it be.

We live in a society where many women strive for childlike bodies, devoid of flesh and hair. As the mother of a son, I want him to grow up knowing that women have the right to do whatever they wish with their bodies and their bodily hair. I want him to respect a girl’s right to be as hairy or as hairless as they wish and as skinny or as curvy as they like. I’m incredibly lucky as I have a husband who is deeply dedicated to my happiness and incredibly respectful of my body and I hope to bring my son up the same way.

Recently, I’ve see the stirrings of the beginning of a tidal turn where pubic hair is concerned. Seemingly the last modern taboo of the female body, pubic hair seems to be making something of a come back. The mannequins in American Apparel in New York have recently developed pubes and I have seen a resurgence in pubic hair on female performers of late, most recently at the World Buskers Festival in Christchurch. I’m convinced that it is a trend set to continue.

I hope that in time, more women will lay aside their razors and allow Mother Nature to re-bestow upon them the bush which she always intended. On my part, I intend to cultivate my lady garden with the fervour of an obsessive horticulturalist.

Long live a furry muff.

Love Lili

x

ADDENDUM: I’ve been told that recently Cameron Diaz has also spoken out in defence of a furry foof, you can read her views here. What a delight that an A-lister has revealed her own hairy aspirations. Here’s hoping that young women everywhere wil listen. Until then, I’m retiring to my boudoir, armed with the Argan oil!

Lili gets shot!

Tags

clothing, Deadly is the Female, Edinburgh Fringe, edinburgh fringe festival, etsy, Fashion, jema hewitt, killer curves, milady de winter, millinery, photographer, showgirl, style, Vintage, vintage lovers, What Katie Did

This week, I was lucky enough to shoot with one of my favourite photographers, Ian Treherne. It was my first shoot back after having Rafferty and I’m still feeling a little bit curvy, so I was concerned about my double chin and lack of cheek bones – thank heavens for shading and contouring.
I needed some photos for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and also for a couple of shows I’m working on so I threw together some costumes (the ones that fit me, anyway!) and went to Ian’s fab little studio about 20 minutes from my house.
Ian shot a photo of me last year which made it onto the front cover of Level 4 Magazine, a mag for local music and other artistic what-not. I adored that picture, so he was a natural choice for me. I also wanted something which wasn’t completely ‘vintage-styled’.
I find that it takes me about 10 minutes to warm up into a shooting rhythm and Ian takes a pause roughly every seven pictures or so but we soon found our way and started to come up with some really fabulous images.
I took along a dress from Deadly Is The Female, a black ruched number which when paired with a What Katie Did Morticia corset, provided me with some killer curves. I also flung on an awesome vintage statement necklace and earrings set. I imagine the photos will have a Mafia Mama attitude to them, as I was channelling ‘Don’t F*ck With Mama la Scala’!! I think that Ian really enjoyed shooting that dress and it’s really interesting how something so simple and black can ooze sexuality.
Then we shot my fabulous purple and green hosting frock which was made for me by the incredible Jema Hewitt.

It’s thoroughly boned which makes sitting down nigh impossible as is bending, turning or even just walking. This made shooting in it quite tricky, but I do hope that we got something amazing, the colours are incredible and the style is great. I wanted something which channelled Milady de Winter from the Three Musketeers and Jema created it perfectly.

Our final pictures featured the most incredible piece of millinery – a hat with a ship a la Marie Antoinette. It’s common knowledge that I adore a tricorn and this is a spectacular example. I found it on Etsy, my gosh, that site is a treasure trove of delicious handmade allsorts! I wanted to use the hat for an image for a new show I’m working on called Siren, it’s a collection of nautically inspired music. I wanted a soft but strong image with the hat centre stage and here is a sneak peek.

I can’t wait to see the rest of the images that Ian took, especially the amazing black dress and I look forward to sharing them with you, too. So for now, this blog is to be continued…
Love Lili

Lili goes to work

Tags

agent burlieque, baby, breast feeding, burlesque, cabaret, costumes, Ipswich, Miss Jones, Regent Theatre, road trip, Sapphire Rox, show

A couple of weeks ago I got a phone call from the lovely Miss Sapphire Rox. She had been let down by her compere and needed someone for an Agent Burlieque show at the Ipswich Regent Theatre on the 22nd March. I had previously turned down doing the show as Rafferty was expected mid-February but since he made his appearance early, I jumped at the chance to get back onstage.
As the show approached, I was understandably nervous. It would be the first time that I had left Rafferty for longer than an hour and a half. This time I would be gone for the best part of seven hours.
The day arrived and I packed my show case, which took an absolute age. When got pregnant, I put my regular performing costumes away. At the time, I thought myself rather well organised but now that I need them again, I see that there was absolutely no rhyme or reason to my packing. There’s a hat here, a bustle there and goodness only knows where I’ve put my fishnet tights?
I also seem to have forgotten what one packs in to a show case. In the past, I’ve been able to pack everything into a ‘carry-on’ sized suitcase but this weekend, however, it looked as if I was going away for a month!
As four o’clock approached, I made sure I had everything and my husband packed the breast pump as I would need to pump because I was away from the baby for so long. I primed the grandparents and gave them the bottles for the evening. Then, with my heart in my mouth, I jumped into the car and sped away, Suffolk-bound.
Like any first-time mother away for the first time, I worried all the way to Ipswich but a quick phone call home reassured me that everything was fine although did little to assuage my ‘mother’s guilt’.
I arrived at the Regent, soundchecked, threw my face on and wriggled into a rather tight costume. Note to self – less cake. Before I knew it, it was showtime and Lili had to get on with the job at hand.

The show was huge fun, lovely acts and a stellar audience who knew how to have fun and being back onstage felt like the most natural thing in the world. The first half flew by and we got to the interval, cue a costume change and a quick pump as there was a risk that my boobs might explode!
Catastrophe! In his eagerness to help me, my husband had missed a piece of the pump, so I couldn’t express at all! By now, I was starting to resemble a porn star with these enormous engorged knockers! Looked fab, felt like hell.

The show finished with a bang with the fab fire performer, Miss Jones.

She completely killed the audience with her devilish fire routine and nothing remained but for me to send them out smiling with a song.

After the show, I packed up my case and dashed back to the car, by now feeling like someone had strapped two huge balloons to my chest. I drove like a bat out of hell down the A12, (within the speed limits of course since it had begun to snow when I left Ipswich) and made it home safely.
It was absolute heaven to get home to my boys, although Rafferty was fast asleep so I had to wait for him to stir before I could feed him.
My husband said my poor boobs were at the same time the most and least sexy thing he’d ever seen!
I guess the moral of the tale is that motherhood alongside travelling performer/compere for hire is a learning curve and I’m sure with time I’ll have it down to a fine art but for now, it is a case of ‘can do better’!!

Love Lili

Lili’s handy homebirth hints

Tags

birth, Family, health, home birth, hypnobirthing, Independent Midwives, medicine, pregnancy

Now, I’m not prone to boasting but I a few weeks ago, I experienced the most amazing home birth of my delicious son, Rafferty.
I’m not sure whether it was down to the Hypnobirthing, my Independent Midwives or my own preparedness but it was empowering, beautiful and made me high as a kite on natural endorphins. So today, I thought I’d share with you some of my hints and tips that maybe you can use when the time comes for you to give birth. Obviously, do check with your midwife that all these things are suitable for you. I was considered low risk, I’m healthy, I eat well and am rather active.

Ok, so my first tip is to build a good team around you. My husband and I liked to imagine we were producing a show. You put together the best team you can so that you have the support you need to be the stars. We had our Hypnobirthing Practitioner, Maggie who prepared us beautifully. I went to an osteopath every three weeks, and towards the end I had a pregnancy massage once a week. Then we had our two fabulous midwives, Mal and Jacqui. All these fabulous people helped us to be prepared and relaxed. Which brings me neatly to my next point.

Relax. Relax. Relax. If you approach your birth relaxed and calm in the knowledge that your body is perfectly designed to birth a baby. I listened to a fabulous deep relaxation app by Andrew Johnson every evening, (they also work well for the insomniacs amongst you!) Try to let go of fear and NEVER watch One Born Every Minute. If you can let go of the fear associated with childbirth, and trust your body you will find it much easier. When you get into the hardcore labour, during your surges (contractions) loosen your jaw, relax your hands, let your shoulders go and breathe deeply as if blowing up a huge sparkly balloon. It doesn’t have to be sparkly, of course. I blew up heaps of glorious jewel coloured balloons in my mind.

My next tip is about preparing. I drank litres of Raspberry Leaf tea which, when it arrived, made me look like I had a huge habit! Make sure you get the hardcore stuff, not the lovely infusions! A great tip from Mal, one of my midwives, was to add Ribena to the tea to make it more tasty. Hot Ribena, delish! I also took two capsules of Raspberry Leaf morning and evening. Just covering my bases! I also took Pregnacare capsules – I practically rattled!

Oily baths. I used Neal’s Yard Mother’s Bath Oil with added lavender oil. I spent so much time in the bath, I practically grew gills. However, I have come through with no stretch marks. I put this down to keeping my bump well oiled. I also enlisted the help of my husband for ‘booby, belly, bum rubs’ with Mama Mio Tummy Oil, I have a feeling he enjoyed it as much as me!

Preparing for your homebirth, you’ll need to assemble a bit of a kit. All the usual things, shower curtain/small tarpaulin, soft towels, incontinence bed pads, maternity pads ( I used Boots own brand and you’ll need way more than you think for the first few days. Best you just clear the shelves at your local Boots!), nipple pads, Lansinoh, old bed linen.
Go to M&S and buy three packs of their multipack lycra big knickers in two sizes bigger than you usually take. Otherwise, the midwives give you really uncomfy maternity knickers.

You should pack a hospital bag just in case. While you are at it, pack one for your other half. You might be there for a while. We kept ours out of sight to keep the negative thoughts away. The power of positive thought is totally underrated!

When labour kicks in turn the lights down low, get into the clothes you are going to birth in, breathe and don’t be scared. You are made to do this and it will make you feel like the most powerful being ever. Good Luck!

A quick checklist of things it’s helpful to have:

Scented Candles (and a lighter!) We had four or five on the go.
Ipod loaded with relaxing music
Plenty of coconut water (highly hydrating)
Sports bottle (doesn’t leak!)
Dates, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, fresh pineapple (easy to eat, sweet and will keep your energy levels up!)
Arnica tablets (Start taking them as soon as you go into labour to help ease the bruising)
Clary Sage Oil to strengthen the contractions
Pulsatilla tablets to aid with the baby blues when the endorphins fade.
Birth ball
A long button up nightshirt (I found some fab ones in M&S, although when it came down to business, I became terribly liberated and whipped my clothes off in a jiffy!)
Witch Hazel (As long as the skin isn’t broken, soak a maternity pad in witch hazel, pop it in the fridge and when you pop it in your knickers – Bliss!!)
Red Bull/ Coffee for your other half!
Food for the midwives!